For a good while, I have pondered about my dependence on facebook and whether or not I should be spending my time there. I tried limiting my use. That works on my good days. But on the days that I am extra tired or stressed, I linger longer than I needed to. Does vegging out on facebook help me on these days? Not so much. Most of the time, I get stuck comparing myself to others– to their jobs, familes, homeschooling success, achieving kids, their walks with God. Keeping up with the Joneses, so to speak, is something I have always pushed against. One of my last posts was this one:
“This has been on my heart for a while: Keeping up with the Joneses spiritually is still keeping up with the Joneses. Everybody’s walk with God is different. Know that you are a child of God and that you don’t have to keep up with your peers to please God. Honor him in your lifestyle and love others. That’s what really matters.”
So why was I on facebook at all? It started as a way to keep up with my out of town friends. Then it became a posting place for my homeschool group and a link to the websites that I like to follow and a storage place for my pictures so that my family and friends could see them. These are all good things that facebook provides. Honestly, I don’t know that I want to give up these tools.
All of these factors have been battling it out in my mind for months now. The February challenge was presented and I danced around it. I tried to decide how much of facebook I could keep and still participate. Then, yesterday, from out of nowhere, I resolved to go all the way. It is only 29 days. I could really use the time to evaluate my dependence on facebook and all of the instant information that it provides. I am afraid that it has become so very difficult for me to hear that still small voice of God because my mind is forever being filled with noise. I am also afraid that I have allowed the comfort of hanging out on facebook take the place of the comfort of “hanging out” with my God.
Yesterday I was fully resolved. Last night I struggled with the decision as if I were giving up something valuable to me. This morning I craved the wake up time skimming statuses. Yep, I am pretty sure I made the right decision. I really need to break my dependence and focus on life like it was pre-facebook.