Keep Going

Today is one of those days that I am ever so thankful that I have kept writing this blog even though I’ve wanted to quit and delete many times over the years.  It is, to me, a treasure box of reminders of where we have been and how far we have come. And on days like this, I need to be reminded that what we are doing is indeed enough. I need to remember that I have seen the process of relaxed, delight directed learning produce kids that are smart, educated, and the closer they get to the end of our home journey, able to handle the real world out there.  It is days like this that I want to scrub everything we are doing and accept it all as failure. But I won’t. I only need to look here at the accounts I’ve recorded and be reminded again that even though it feels today like we are not making the progress I want to make, the long run a whole different story.

Today, I’m discouraged when L is not reading yet. When I look back and the long road we’ve been on, I see 3 other kids that were once in the same boat and did indeed learn to read. I’m discouraged that she doesn’t have the attention span to sit for even an hour of lessons of any kind. I don’t remember the others being so distracted, but there’s proof here in the blog that they were.

Today I’m discouraged that, as a whole, nobody wants to progress right now. Everybody’s content to stay right were they are. I’m stressing over this, because it just isn’t how I think. But as I look back, I am reminded of all of the things they’ve learned. They haven’t been stagnant all their lives. They are progressing, even when I don’t see it.

Today I’m discouraged that they didn’t want to sit down for lessons and I got upset with them. I’m disappointed with myself for forgetting that they often learn best with hands on lessons and activity. I’m sorry that today was not a good day, but I am reminded that there have been many more good days than bad.

Today I’m thankful for this blog. It often seems like a jumble of words, but on days like this it is a reminder that better days will come, that we are indeed making the necessary progress, that while what we are doing needs tweaking from time to time, it is working. I must press on.

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