This morning I played psychic with my kids. Okay, not really. But I study my kids. And when my kids’ hearts hurt, my heart hurts. I don’t like this, so I spend a lot of time trying to understand what they are saying by their actions and “code words”. And it turns out they are all saying basically the same things.
Back to this morning. I playfully but meaningfully told them each what I saw as their most bothersome situations right now. For my 15 and 12 year olds, they are craving friendships. One is drawn to books and the internet where she watches other peoples’ relationships happen. It’s why she longs for the next friend date or time alone with her sister or her mom and dad. The other gravitates to video games where he can interact with the characters. It’s also why he wakes me just to visit every morning.
The 10 and 8 year olds also have similar answers. They both feel like we are too busy. One feels like she has been missing out on hanging out with her friends, playing her new game, chilling with her sister. She tells me often that she just wants a day to stay home. She basically wants to live in the moment, and our busyness has gotten in the way. The other feels like we are always rushing her from one thing to another. She just wants to slow down the day and enjoy what she is doing.
There is definitely a place for busyness and Type A personalities that thrive on accomplishing more. I am one of them. The more I get done in a day, the better I feel about myself. But Type A kids they are not. God made my kids to be more laid back.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that they are onto something. Life really is about relationships. Have you ever read a good story or seen a good movie without some thick relationship in the middle of the plot? I haven’t, because relationships are so central. Even for introverted and driven people like me. I’m learning a lot about that lately. It is what we are craving. It is something on which we have not focused enough. I pray that this year we can slow down and practice making life more about relationships.