I was challenged this week to look for the positive in people. I decided to try it on my husband without telling him about it for the first several days. My catch phrase in my head has been “80%. Look for the 80% of good”. 80% is just a random number, but it reminds me that there really is a lot more good than not good in him. It’s up to me to find it. It is not in my nature to fully trust and fully see the good in people, but I can tell you that as I have focused on the things I love about my husband instead of the things that bother me (like the messes or the forgetting about something), I have seen the difference. I feel closer. I love him more fully.
I decided that I needed to try the same thing with my children. Often, it is easy to miss the great things about them in the daily struggle to train them. All too often the disobedience or the little annoyances become my focus. I am looking for the positive in them now, and it is making a difference in how I interact with them. No, they are not perfect. Neither am I. Not by a long shot. But I can love them more fully and teach them more effectively when I find the positive first.
Try it. You may find that it changes your relationships for the better!