“Love” vs. “In Love”

John 13:34

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

I love chocolate. I love pizza. I love sports.  I love my husband and kids.

But what is love really?

I am convinced that there is actual love and then there is “in love” and we as a culture have them mixed up. If I really love someone, then I put that person’s needs before my own.  It is about doing what is best for them. The focus is on them.

If I say that I love someone, but what I really mean is that I love how he makes me feel or what he does for me, then really I am “in love” with him (which is a feeling).

Now, don’t get me wrong. I do believe that we should choose to be in healthy give and take relationships. But if we are in said relationship for what it offers to us only, it will in time self destruct. Far too often couples choose to part ways because one or both of them “don’t love anymore”.  They got tired of giving love. It is hard work, I know. In a world when every minute of every day is filled with jobs and kids and yard work and church and sports and more stuff to do, it is far too easy to find ourselves too tired or busy to keep on giving love to our spouses.

It is my goal that I will regularly choose not to be so busy or preoccupied that I don’t have time or energy left to give to my husband. I want him to know that while I very much appreciate that he works hard and takes care of his family,  I love and care about him, not just what he can do for me.

My 14 year old daughter has been enjoying these videos from Blimey Cow. This one is about like vs. love. Enjoy.

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